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Insights is a monthly publication focused on influencing quality End-of-Life care Click here to view previous issues of Insights
"The Gifts of Caring" What will become of all my thoughts of love, once gay and foolish, now that I'm nearing two deaths? I am certain of one, and the other looms over me. Neither painting, not sculpture will be able any longer to calm my soulm now turned to divine love that opened his arms on the cross to take us in. ~ Michelangelo, 1554 ~ The facts of age ~ some approaching 100 with deliberate speed. Many, if not all, miss those levels of high activity and buoyancy they had in earlier years, and hold in check formally active lives. And then, as Frances, a nursing home resident said in Wisdom and Age, 1981, "A new set of faculties seemed to be coming into operation. I seem to be awaking into a larger world of wonderment ~ to catch little glimpses of immensity and diversity of creation. More than any other time in my life, I seem to be aware of the beauties of our spinning planet and the sky above. I feel that old age sharpens my awareness." That is what we try to do as care providers ~ sharpen awareness. We try to help patients and families sharpen their time together, to see all that can be in the future while remembering those countless wonderful moments of the past. Celebrating life is complicated because we try to celebrate both the high moments and low moments, because life is a full package of ups and downs, joys and sorrows, winters and summers. Michelangelo and Frances offer contrasting and hopeful views of age. Michelangelo moves through his life to a day in eternity, but anticipates the things he will miss. Frances, sharpens her sight and brings into view new images she missed in younger days. She finds meaning in the excitement of a pet or looking at a baby and seeing the hope in life. The fruit of age is a memory of countless blessings acquired along the way, relived in the joy and pain of recollections. Cicero (106-43 BC), famous for his assertion of human rights and the common nature of all people, encouraged us to be more spirited and courageous in old age. It seems that the challenge and blessings we inherit include making life richer for those around us, patients, residents, and partners in serving each other. It is in this season of joy, hope, and anticipation we send the gift of caring with the hope we will, each day, see the twinkle in the eyes of those we serve and those we love. Peace and love, "for everything there is a season, a time for everything under heaven." HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM ALL OF US AT HOSPICE OF THE TWIN CITIES! Coping With the Holidays The Holiday do not come alone ~ the bring many emotions with them an can be especially difficult if you have lost someone you love. To say the Holidays will never be the same is not only true, but also and enormous understatement. Just how do you get through this season and remain relatively sane when you are experiencing so many mixed emotions? 1. Plan ahead for the Holidays ~ The stress is greater for those who do not plan ahead. Anticipating your emotions can aid you in a self-care plan for the Holidays. Being realistic about your emotions and how they will affect you , in relationship to what needs to be done, will help you establish the second thought, accepting your limitations. 2. Accept your Limitations ~ Grief is difficult to handle on a good day, let alone the biggest Holiday season of the year. Stay in touch with your feelings and what expectations others have of you, as well as your own expectations of what you should be able to accomplish. 3. Reassess and Prioritize ~ This really ties in with your limitations ~ YOU CAN NOT DO IT ALL! Take time out as a way of coping ~ change what you consider "demands" and prioritize. Some things will get done, others will not. 4. Make Changes ~ Use the occasion to establish new traditions for the Holidays. Make necessary changes, which may involve new surroundings, rituals, or traditions. 5. Trim Down to the Essentials ~ Only participate in activities you have energy for. Do not over extend yourself and reassess priorities as the Holidays progress. 6. Delegate ~ Assign jobs. You do not have to do it all. It is okay to ask for help and accept it. Be specific about your needs and preferences. 7. Be Flexible ~ Learn to "play it by ear" and "one day at a time". When experiencing grief your emotional needs may feel like a roller coaster rid. That's okay. There is no way to predict how your needs may vary day to day. This is uncharted territory and if you can roll with the punches you will be more likely to enjoy the Holidays. 8. Give Yourself Permission "To Be" ~ Grieving is nature's way of healing the heart and the mind. Don not feel bad if you have periods of just "being" and not "doing". You need extra room to breath. 9. Get Enough Rest ~ The Holidays will be much easier to cope with if you are not physically exhausted. Pace yourself and listen to you body and your mind. 10. Allow Yourself to Express Your Feelings ~ It is natural to feel sadness and to express that sadness, especially since the Holidays often magnify feelings of loss. Your loved ones will understand and it may open the door for them to also share their feelings of loss. 11. Do Not Be Afraid to Enjoy the Holidays ~ It is ok to have fun. |
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Hospice of the Twin Cities
Hospice of the Twin Cities 10405 - 6th Avenue North, Suite 250 Plymouth, Minnesota 55441 763.531.2424 1.800.364.2478
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